Date of Award


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Degree Name

Departmental Honors


Last month, my roommate asked me if I wanted to join a new club she was forming. When I responded, "I really don't care," I was instantly initiated as Vice President, and quickly put to work. My assignment was recruitment. Aimlessly I wandered around the Utah State University campus randomly seeking out students to join the club. I asked them questions about their interests and aspirations. If they had any, they couldn't join. I asked them questions such as, "would you come to meetings?' and anyone who responded, "yes," was instantly rejected for caring too much. Within one week, I had recruited 714 uncaring students into the "Apathy Club." I was promoted at once to Divine Leader, but you know, I really didn't care. To apathetic people, nothing really matters. The club's motto is, "It just doesn't matter, it just doesn't matter."



Faculty Mentor