Date of Award:

5-2021

Document Type:

Thesis

Degree Name:

Master of Science (MS)

Department:

English

Committee Chair(s)

Jennifer Sinor

Committee

Jennifer Sinor

Committee

Jessica Rivera-Mueller

Committee

Benjamin Gunsberg

Abstract

This thesis is the first part of what I envision to be a full-length memoir. I focus throughout on multiple themes, primarily what it meant to grow up gay in a culture, state, religion, and society where others told me I was wrong to be such. I explore these themes linearly through extended metaphors such as clothing, outward appearances, nakedness, and literal hiding. I begin with an introduction before moving into the main content where I explore my life between the ages of eight and eighteen as I struggled to understand the impact of religious, educational, and familial cultures on my own internalized homophobia, gender identity, perfectionism, and spirituality. In illustrating the barriers of all these which I had built up from my earliest experiences, I hope to show the complexity of this experience and ultimately answer the question, “What does it mean to be naked and fully, authentically seen?”

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